Who Are You Becoming?

June 9, 2023 Dr. Joel Small

“How does who you are becoming fit into your vision of the future?” When Dr. Mac McDonald (Mac) asked that question on a call with several Line of Sight Coaching clients, I could not stop thinking about the significance of the question. It resonated with me on several levels.

I began considering how who I was becoming had changed my life for the better. Then, I realized that these changes could not have happened without my awareness of what I had been before. It allowed me to see how I was unknowingly showing up for the people that mattered most in my life. This awareness was unquestionably life-changing and the beginning of my journey to becoming a better, more authentic person and leader.

I then thought about one of my favorite quotes from Carl Jung: “Until we make the unconscious conscious, it will direct our lives, and we will call it fate.”   The truth of this statement now impacts me more than ever.

Next, I contemplated why Mac chose the word “becoming” rather than asking us to consider what we had become? And the answer came to me. We are always becoming. We never become. Life is a fluid process, and we are all in the process of becoming. To state that we have become something implies a state of stasis that is incompatible with our existence and vitality.

In the context of purposeful leadership, becoming is a never-ending journey filled with constant reflection and self-directed change. Leaders face many challenges and occasional failures that require reassessment and purposeful redirection.

Finally, I thought about the unquestionable connection between who we are becoming and our vision of the future. One could easily restate Mac’s question by asking how our vision of the future fits with who we are becoming. The question is reversed, but no less meaningful. Who we are becoming will lack purpose and significance without a vision of what the becoming means, and conversely, our future vision is unachievable without our realization of who we must become to attain it. The two are inextricably linked.

Each of us has a vision of a preferred future. For some the vision lacks clarity and the necessary positive tension required to achieve the future vision. These folks are stuck in a state of limbo, constantly wishing for something they want desperately but believe to be unattainable.

For emerging leaders in a state of becoming, the vision of their preferred future is crystal clear and a powerful driving force.  By living as if their preferred future currently exists, they are better able to anticipate and preemptively remove potential barriers to realizing their vision.

Knowing who we need to become is a vital realization and opens new unrealized potentials for our preferred future. It does not mean that we must change who we are. Instead, the state of becoming requires us to mitigate our negative reactive tendencies and emphasize our unique creative competencies, all of which already reside within each of us and exist within our reach.

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About Author

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Dr. Joel Small

Dr. Joel Small is a retired clinical endodontist, Board Certified Executive Leadership Coach, speaker, and the author of “Face to Face: A Leadership Guide for Healthcare Professionals and Entrepreneurs.” He and Pankey Visiting Faculty member, Dr. Edwin McDonald (Mac), are the co-founders of Line of Site Coaching. Together, they partner to help healthcare professionals build more successful practices, so they can live the balanced life they seek.

One thought on “Who Are You Becoming?

  1. Joel, Thank you for your reflection on “becoming” – it can be a wonderful way for continual “future focus” and re-visioning for a life-time of personal growth. It can be a part of opening-up and moving from our head to our heart. Dr. Carl Rogers wrote a book long ago titled “On Becoming A Person” in which he talks about his observations around caring; he calls it “patient-centered therapy”. You might find it an encourager as you continue to invite others (patients and colleagues) to dive deeper with you. Your article put a smile on my face…thank you, Rich Green

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