How can a patient trust you, if you don’t even trust yourself? Let’s dive in:
The last frontier of trust is trusting yourself. Most people would say that trusting themselves is by far the most difficult.
When you have decided to place your trust in another person, you have surrendered some control to them that you previously held. When you decide to trust yourself, who or what are you giving up control to?
The answer, in my view, is a four letter word called ‘fear.’ Nothing gets in the way of human progress and performance more than fear. Often our fear is grounded in the inaccurate internal assumptions we use to organize our identity, define how we see ourself, and define our relationship with the world.
When fear dominates our inner world, meaning, happiness, achievement, and our relationships suffer.
Performance and Attention
In pursuit of high achievement, ancient philosophers, theologians, and modern brain science all agree: “We become what we give our attention to.” Our first option is simply to give our attention to the fear that lives within us and the possibility and consequences of failing.
It often sounds like this: “What will happen….What does it mean…How bad will it hurt…What will people think…If I fail.” It is uncertain, unknown, improbable, and anxious. The other option is to create all of the certainty that I can and attack the fear head on.
In this approach, I study my performance as much as possible in order to learn. I structure a plan and rehearse every sequence. I practice this plan for as many hours as needed. I identify and create solutions for each potential problem in advance.
I create a very clear picture of the final result that captures my attention and focuses my energy and creativity. By spending the time and energy in advance to prepare myself, I have created all the certainty for success that I can.
At that point, it is all about trust. Trusting in my preparation to create certainty. The certainty of success.
The white hot center of human performance is trust. There is no substitute for a deeply held trust in yourself. As Covey said, that kind of trust changes everything!