The Never-Ending Patient Interview

October 11, 2023 Paul Henny DDS

In the year 1958, Dr. L. D. Pankey asked one of his most devout students to join him and teach the Pankey philosophy about dentistry and life to dentists around the world. And that’s precisely what they did. F. Harold Wirth, DDS, was one of the most dynamic speakers in all of dentistry. He rivaled Drs. L. D. Pankey and Bob Barkley in his ability to engage an audience and make his points clear using real (often funny) stories from his practice and life experiences.

Harold understood people on a very deep level—physically and emotionally. For this, he gave Dr. Pankey most of the credit. He had a very successful restorative practice in downtown New Orleans prior to meeting Dr. Pankey, but always felt that something was missing. L.D. Pankey showed him what that was, which turned Harold Wirth into a missionary for whole-person dentistry from that point forward:

“Give the case presentation to the person who makes the decisions,” Dr. Wirth said. “If I ever get to the point where I’m explaining what I’d like to do…If I’m not already about 90% into gaining their agreement, then I have messed up! Because I should have already won them over with the interview, the aura of my office, the literature that I’ve given them to read, and whatever else I’ve done before that time.”

Dr. Wirth said, “The case is constantly being presented: Every time the patient comes in, you’re doing a presentation. As a matter of fact, I think the interview is forever ongoing. It might only be one word, but every time the patient comes into your office, you should be interviewing them. Are you comfortable? Does your bite feel good? Are your teeth sensitive?”

These are questions that have to do with how the person FEELS. A case history is exploring what happened, but an interview is about how they feel! You need to understand the difference! How do you feel about your restorations? Are you comfortable? Are you satisfied with the appearance of your smile? Can you chew everything you want to chew?

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Paul Henny DDS

Dr. Paul Henny maintains an esthetically-focused restorative practice in Roanoke, Virginia. Additionally, he has been a national speaker in dentistry, a visiting faculty member of the Pankey Institute, and visiting lecturer at the Jefferson College or Health Sciences. Dr. Henny has been a member of the Roanoke Valley Dental Society, The Academy of General Dentistry, The American College of Oral Implantology, The American Academy of Cosmetic Dentistry, and is a Fellow of the International Congress of Oral Implantology. He is Past President and co-founder of the Robert F. Barkley Dental Study Club.

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Understanding Smiles Part 1

August 21, 2023 Bradley Portenoy, DDS
Smile behavior is influenced by the individual’s feelings about their smile.

Smiles are an integral part of human communication. They make us appear more attractive, approachable, happy, agreeable, and attentive. Studies have shown that people who are happy with their smiles are more confident, have a greater sense of well-being, and this is also reflected in their behavior. In one study, subjects were shown photos of people with nice smiles. The subjects deemed these people as being more socially competent, with greater intellectual achievement and better psychological adjustment. These smiles are contagious and It’s easy to reciprocate when someone gives you that “genuine smile.” We’ve all seen this smile, but what makes it genuine?

There are a variety of smiles that reflect a wide array of emotions. From flirtatious to embarrassed, our smiles reflect our mood and communicate our thoughts. Or do they? When people are unhappy with the appearance of their smile they present a variety of guarding. There’s upper lip guarding, lower lip guarding, both lips guarding, covering one’s mouth with a hand, and of course close lip grins.

As dentists, we must be able to spend time with our patients, to see those smiles, and to delve into why a patient may be guarding. In a sense, we must become esthetic psychologists. It is not an overstatement to say that as dentists, we don’t just change teeth; we can change lives. We can shape how others see our patients. If a patient cannot give a genuine unencumbered smile, perhaps, they’ll miss an employment opportunity or meeting that special someone. Perhaps they’ll be seen by others as unfriendly or unapproachable.

So, is there a “genuine smile” that can be quantified? In the 1800s, a French anatomist by the name of Guillaume Duchenne sought to answer that question. Duchenne, through stimulating facial muscles, found that the most genuine, sincere smile occurred when 3 muscle groups fired: the orbicularis oris and zygomaticus major in the mouth and the orbicularis oculi of the eye forming crows’ feet.

Most consider the resulting Duchenne smile to be the genuine smile that is spontaneous and sincere. Studies have shown that this type of smile can elevate mood, change body stress response, and is responsible for the release of endorphins, dopamine, and serotonin. In all, the Duchenne smile is the Holy Grail. It is certainly about the smile but a major component is the formation of crows’ feet around the eyes. Just think of the song When Irish Eyes Are Smiling. The Duchenne smile in all its splendor is sure to steal your heart away. My point is that we need to remember that the Duchenne smile is about the mouth AND the eyes; these elements are interconnected.

What we’ll need to evaluate as Dentists is whether Botox injections and plastic surgery affect the Duchenne smile. Certainly, in the case of the Botox smile, the answer is yes since the elevator muscles of the mouth are injected thus altering the Duchenne muscle contractions. Obviously, it is vital then to take a good health history and determine whether a patient is smile guarding or simply cannot fire the muscles that make up the Duchenne smile.

In making dental changes, we change lives. We shape how others see our patients and how they see themselves. This is priceless work. It is worthy work. But until a patient desires the best results that today’s dentistry can achieve and trusts us to execute the technical aspects of their new smile, we are in listening, understanding, and guidance mode. We are leading them forward with primary, essential care and taking them on a long journey to achieve what is possible. With each new dental restoration, they may smile more broadly and lift their head higher. They will feel the release of endorphins and serotonins. They will experience the positivity of greater self-confidence.

Artful comprehensive dentists are like behavioral psychologists who have the sincere intention of doing their utmost for the benefit of their patients.

You know what greater smile benefits are possible if the patient understands and wants to continue with aesthetic treatment. Patience is a virtue. So, spark the curiosity of your patients and lead gently but with confidence. Never forget that a patient who is concerned about the cost of elective treatment today will be thanking you profusely two to three years from now and saying the decision to move forward with a comprehensive smile makeover was one of the best decisions of their life.

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Bradley Portenoy, DDS

Dr. Bradley Portenoy earned his Doctorate of Dental Surgery with Thesis Honors in Behavioral Science from SUNY at Buffalo School of Dental Medicine in 1985. Dr. Portenoy practices comprehensive relationship-based family dentistry in Rockville Centre, NY. He was one of the first dentists to complete the Pankey Scholar program at The Pankey Institute (2002) and has been on the Visiting Faculty of the Institute since 2005. Currently, he also serves on the advisory board of the L.D. Pankey Dental Foundation, Inc.

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The Art of Influencing Our Patients Part 2: An Opportunity to Develop Patient Understanding & Confidence

June 16, 2023 Mary Osborne RDH

In dentistry, we’re clear about the connections among the teeth, the muscles, the bone, and the joints—and how all these pieces are related to esthetics. We understand how those pieces fit together. Unfortunately, most patients don’t come to us with that understanding.

Dr. Bob Barkley used to talk about patients not understanding “the web”—the connection of how all the pieces come together.

Just as with a delicate spider web, if you touch any one aspect of it, you change everything. Bob Barkley would say to his patients, “I know you are concerned about that one tooth. That’s your job to be concerned about that one tooth. My job is figure out and to help you understand how what’s happening with that one tooth is related to everything else that is going on in your mouth.”

The exam is a process by which we can do exactly that. We can help our patients understand the connections in their mouths. The exam is also an opportunity to encourage our patients to have confidence in us. Confidence building starts with the new patient exam and continues in subsequent interactions. The more thorough the examination we do, the more in touch we are with what is really happening in our patients’ mouths and the more confident patients will feel about our ability to help them.

Our thoroughness and knowledge aren’t the only aspects of the exam that develop patients’ confidence in us. The gentler we are in our touch and the more careful to include the patient or others in the room during exams are important. These aspects of the exam communicate our character and the way we tend to approach our work. Patients anticipate our care and approach will be similarly open and comfortable during future consultations and procedures.

People don’t take risks when they don’t feel confident. Unfortunately, many patients do not have confidence in making decisions for themselves when they sit in a dental chair. They think of significant dentistry as a risk. For best long-term results and positive relationships, we always want the patient to feel as strong and confident about their choices as they can.

Repeated comfortable interactions are needed for them to develop their confidence. Every time we find something good in their mouth, every time we point out health such as healthy gum tissue or a beautiful restoration, and areas not needing restoration, we are reinforcing healthy choices they made in the past. This can be a confidence booster to help them move forward in making next choices.

The examination process is an opportunity for the clinician to:

  • Understand what the patient is experiencing emotionally and physically,
  • Provide sensory learning experiences (see Art of the Examination: Part 1),
  • Help the patient draw connections for deeper understanding of their health
  • Explore options for what the patient might choose to do.

The examination is an opportunity for the patient to develop understanding of:

  • The clinician’s ability to help them.
  • The current condition of their teeth and other oral structures.
  • The impact on them of what they are learning.
  • The choices they can make to improve their health.

Every examination is a next opportunity to develop our patients’ confidence in us and in their ability to make healthy choices for themselves.

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Mary Osborne RDH

Mary is known internationally as a writer and speaker on patient care and communication. Her writing has been acclaimed in respected print and online publications. She is widely known at dental meetings in the U.S., Canada, and Europe as a knowledgeable and dynamic speaker. Her passion for dentistry inspires individuals and groups to bring the best of themselves to their work, and to fully embrace the difference they make in the lives of those they serve.

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Your Patients Want to Know You Are Thinking of Them During the Holidays

November 16, 2021 Deborah Bush, MA

When leaves are turning red and yellow and grasses are turning shades of pink and brown, most of us start anticipating the coming holidays. It’s a season to list everything we still want to accomplish by the end of the year…and it’s also a time to think more about others.

Not everyone experiences happiness during the holidays.

It would be wonderful and remarkable if every patient in your dental practice has fond memories of the holidays and has family and friends with whom they celebrate. But proactively working year around to know your patients has provided you with glimpses into what your patients really might be feeling.

Getting to know each patient has revealed recent losses…a spouse, parent, son, or daughter. It has revealed the emotional impact of divorce, job loss, the chronic stress of work or caregiving, and then, there are a multitude of worrisome health problems.

An idea for uplifting these special patients: Mass-printed holiday greeting cards can be turned into something special that touches these patients on a deep level. Some effort needs to go into personalizing the cards with handwritten messages but the message can be as simple as, “We want you to know that we are thinking of you during this holiday season. You are someone we admire and care about.” That special touch…a small act of kind outreach can make a beautiful, memorable impression on special individuals you have come to know, think about, and may be praying for.

The entire practice team can help in listing the few dozens of patients who would benefit most from personal notes. Everyone can pitch in to write messages. Everyone can sign the cards. Social wellbeing among your team members will be elevated by creating an open afternoon on the schedule to do this as a “family” of compassionate caregivers. Add lunch or snacks to make it a team party.

Tip for a Thriving Team from Gallup’s Wellbeing at Work: Operationalize your mission. You will clearly communicate your mission of genuinely caring for patients when you demonstrate to your team that you do care by investing personal effort. Doctors, this means writing personalized messages right alongside your team—and with enthusiasm.

Many patients become hyper busy during the holidays.

Cancellations and lateness occur more frequently in December. Despite best intentions of keeping their dental appointments, some patients overbook and overextend themselves. My personal thoughts are to be patient with them and do four things.

1. If your practice is large with many patients coming through your door daily, it may not be your regular practice to make confirmation phone calls. In December, make the extra effort to follow up text messages with personal phone calls. Have team members organized to make as many calls as possible.

2. Build value for December appointments via a Happy Holidays newsletter that sparks enthusiasm for your practice. Include a digital photo of the holiday decorations in your reception area and remind your December patients that you look forward to wishing them Happy Holidays in person.

Here’s an idea: What if you were to put together oral health care gift bags for a local group home or shelter and communicate to your patients that those coming in for appointments in December will have the opportunity to put their name on a card in a gift bag? You would spread community awareness, the spirit of health, and giving back to your community as a wider dental family.

3. Update your wait list of patients who might come in on short notice. Have those names and numbers at the ready.

4. When open time occurs in your schedule, have a mindset of gratitude: “Wow, I guess we won’t feel so pushed today. We didn’t expect we would have this time to breath and catch up a little.”

Your patients want to know what to do if they have a dental problem over the holidays.

Have a clear plan that you and your team members can engage around to respond when patients have emergency or urgent needs over the holidays. Tell your patients via your media (recorded phone message, newsletter, Facebook page, website blog, etc.) what to do if a dental problem occurs. Clear communication from you tells them that you are thinking of them and want to make it easier for them to manage life’s exigencies…even during the holidays.

Here’s to a season of doing our best and thinking of others!

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Deborah Bush, MA

Deb Bush is a freelance writer specializing in dentistry and a subject matter expert on the behavioral and technological changes occurring in dentistry. Before becoming a dental-focused freelance writer and analyst, she served as the Communications Manager for The Pankey Institute, the Communications Director and a grant writer for the national Preeclampsia Foundation, and the Content Manager for Patient Prism. She has co-authored and ghost-written books for dental authorities, and she currently writes for multiple dental brands which keeps her thumb on the pulse of trends in the industry.

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My Exam to Treatment Planning Structure

May 21, 2021 Lee Ann Brady DMD

Before I come up with a treatment plan, I always do certain things in a certain order. That structure has allowed me to feel confident that I can treatment plan any case that walks into my office. That structure, or process, affects how I approach my exam, make my diagnosis, and ultimately make my treatment plan.

The process begins by looking at the following five areas during the patient exam. I gather information in each of these areas in the following order:

  1. The patient parameters of the case
  2. The aesthetic parameters of the case
  3. The functional parameters of the case
  4. The restorative parameters of the case
  5. The biologic parameters of the case

The first area I look at is the patient. What is the patient interested in? What are the patient’s circumstances, temperament, and dental health objectives? What is the patient’s current understanding of their dental health? How does that compare to my perception of their dental health? After answering these questions, I then move on to the four technical areas.

The first technical area I look at is the aesthetics of the teeth, gingiva, skeletal structure, and face. I then look at function, including the jaw joints, muscles, occlusion, and airway. The third area I look at is the restorative parameters of tooth structure, missing teeth, and the restorative materials and restorative techniques previously used in the mouth. And finally, I look at the biologic parameters, including caries, periodontal, and endo.

When I do my examination, I want information gathered in all five of these areas. When I sit down to do my exam diagnosis and treatment planning, I have all of that information in front of me and I’m going to always consider the five areas in the same order as I proceed with diagnosis and begin treatment planning.

When I plan the stages of treatment that will occur, the treatment sequence is in the order that is most appropriate for the case. For example, if the patient has a biologic health condition, perhaps, the need for a root canal or significant perio inflammation, I’m going to treat that condition at the front end of the treatment sequence, and not in the order in which I gathered information and reviewed it. The most appropriate treatment sequence will be the order in which I need to do restorative procedures to most predictably achieve the total best outcome.

Although my “structured approach” may not be the same as yours, I thought sharing mine with you could be of benefit to you. By establishing a process in which you gather and consider information in all five areas (Patient, Aesthetics, Function, Restorative, and Biologic), you will have all the information you need to consistently do diagnosis and treatment planning with efficiency and confidence.

For more information on this topic, I encourage you to take Treatment Planning and Case Presentation with me on June 11th – June 12th. This is a phenomenal way to solidify your knowledge and spend two days in sunny Key Biscayne, FL.

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Lee Ann Brady DMD

Dr. Lee Ann Brady is passionate about dentistry, her family and making a difference. She is a general dentist and owns a practice in Glendale, AZ limited to restorative dentistry. Lee’s passion for dental education began as a CE junkie herself, pursuing lots of advanced continuing education focused on Restorative and Occlusion. In 2005, she became a full time resident faculty member for The Pankey Institute, and was promoted to Clinical Director in 2006. Lee joined Spear Education as Executive VP of Education in the fall of 2008 to teach and coordinate the educational curriculum. In June of 2011, she left Spear Education, founded leeannbrady.com and joined the dental practice she now owns as an associate. Today, she teaches at dental meetings and study clubs both nationally and internationally, continues to write for dental journals and her website, sits on the editorial board of the Journal of Cosmetic Dentistry, Inside Dentistry and DentalTown Magazines and is the Director of Education for The Pankey Institute.

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Check-In and Debrief at the Dental Visit

April 16, 2021 Mark Kleive DDS

When I think of the small things my practice does on an everyday basis that have a big impact on patient relationships, patient satisfaction, and case acceptance, the first thing that comes to mind is what we call check-in and debrief.

Early in my practice years, way back when I was practicing corporate dentistry, when I walked into the operatory, the patient already had topical in place and my job was to get them numb. There wasn’t much of an opportunity to have a conversation. Over time, I learned the concept of check-in and debrief, which is really about how you can use the time at the beginning and end of the appointment to influence the relationship you have with the patient.

These are ideal times to build value for what the patient has agreed to do at that appointment and to tie the goals of the patient to the value of the treatment the patient is receiving, or you hope the patient will accept.

Usually, the check-in and debrief each take about two minutes. My assistants participate in this process with me, so they have increased understanding as well.

Previous Conversations Inform Me

I can be mindful and successful with my conversations if previous conversations with the patient were documented. My assistants take notes for me during my conversations with patients. I need to know:

  • What is important to them,
  • What they are hoping for, and
  • What could get in the way of accomplishing what they believe is best for themselves?

My Check-in Conversation

During the check-in, I aim to converse about what we have planned to do and how this fits the overall goals of the patient. Usually, I enter the room and there is a little chit-chat. Then I ask, “What is your understanding of what we are going to do today?” The response helps me gauge the patient’s awareness. Following this conversation, I may ask, “What is your understanding of how this is part of your long-term health plan?” Or, if the patient has a stated a good understanding of what we are going to do, I say, “Yes, and this is how it fits into your long-term goals for your teeth.” They should now have a good sense of why the appointment time is of benefit to them.

My Debrief Conversation

During the end-of-the-appointment conversation, I aim to thank the patient for being cooperative, talk about what they can expect as a result of today’s appointment, and what they can expect as we move towards their preferred future. No matter what happened during the appointment, I want my patients to hear how much we appreciate them being our patients and being there today. When we talk about what to expect from today’s appointment, we can go over any post-op instructions, which are also presented in written form. Lastly, I want to give them hope that we are accomplishing steps on the road to their preferred future and that we can get there with their continued cooperation. I want to see the rays of hope register on their faces.

I believe all of this is of high value to the patient personally and in building value for the practice. It is well worth the time, and for me, it is a standard part of every patient visit.

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Mark Kleive DDS

Dr. Mark Kleive earned his D.D.S. degree with distinction from the University of Minnesota School of Dentistry in 1997. Mark has had experience as an associate in a multi-clinic setting and as an owner of 2 different fee-for-service practices. For the last 6 years Mark has practiced in a beautiful area of the country – Asheville, North Carolina, where he lives with his wife Nicki and twin daughters Meighan and Emily. Mark has been passionate about advanced education since graduation. Mark is a Visiting Faculty member with The Pankey Institute and a 2015 inductee into the American College of Dentistry. He leads numerous small group study clubs, lectures nationally and offers his own small group programs. During the last 19 years of practice, Dr. Kleive has made a reputation for himself as a caring, comprehensive oral healthcare provider.

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Unwitting Barriers to Care

February 24, 2021 Paul Henny DDS

Few people have worked as tirelessly to advance the thinking of L.D. Pankey and Bob Barkley as Rich Green DDS, MBA. Recently, I ran across some of Rich’s quotes that truly capture the nature of his experience in dentistry.

A behaviorist’s definition of learning is changed behavior demonstrated. As my personal growth allowed, I relaxed and thought more about creating an experience in which my patients had the opportunity to learn something, which would challenge them to change behaviors that had negative impact on their life and health. The more I looked at those “learning moments,” the more they appeared. The learning occurred as I helped patients clarify what was most important to them and what they wanted to learn. As I facilitated a learning process with my patients, they were able to discover for themselves those two things, and then they were able to take their own steps in personal growth…People tend to support what they help to create.

Below Rich is speaking of his long-term work with Don Clifton and The Gallop Organization.

As we studied the uniqueness of individual private practices, one finding was the tendency of a dentist and team to unwittingly create barriers to the patient’s progress when what they really wanted was to create pathways to greater health. The barriers were typically caused by an impatient or judgmental attitude and the “teach and tell” method of attempting to change behavior.

In this last passage, Rich speaks to the central theme Bob Barkley taught across the country following the publication of his book, Successful Preventive Dental Practices. In the mid 1960’s, Bob worked closely with Nate Kohn Jr, PhD to dramatically reorganize how he interacted with his patients. In so doing, he largely abandoned what Rich refers to here as “teach and tell,” in lieu of what Bob called “CoDiscovery.” Because Nate Kohn, Jr. had his PhD in Educational Psychology, he exposed Bob to the latest thinking in learning science – and much of it had been influenced by the work of Carl Rogers, PhD.

It fascinates me that we can now go back and understand how all of this evolved, as well as why Bob chose to do things in a very specific way. Perhaps most important is how it all evolved through the hearts and missions of both Bob and Rich. And this last point is key, because if the motivation behind a person’s use of CoDiscovery doesn’t emanate from their heart, from a deeply sincere desire to help others grow and realize greater health through that growth, it won’t work. Instead, it will be perceived as being manipulative and thwart the desired outcome.

The “unwittingly created barriers” will block the passage of the relationship to the next interpersonal level — the level necessary to establish enough trust to proceed to the needed care. CoDisovery is an intentional practice, born out of a personal philosophy toward life and practice. This heartfelt way of interacting with others sometimes feels slow, but it is the fastest way I know to truly help others.

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Transform your experience of practicing dentistry, increase predictability, profitability and fulfillment. The Essentials Series is the Key, and Aesthetic and Functional Treatment Planning is where your journey begins.  Following a system of…

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Paul Henny DDS

Dr. Paul Henny maintains an esthetically-focused restorative practice in Roanoke, Virginia. Additionally, he has been a national speaker in dentistry, a visiting faculty member of the Pankey Institute, and visiting lecturer at the Jefferson College or Health Sciences. Dr. Henny has been a member of the Roanoke Valley Dental Society, The Academy of General Dentistry, The American College of Oral Implantology, The American Academy of Cosmetic Dentistry, and is a Fellow of the International Congress of Oral Implantology. He is Past President and co-founder of the Robert F. Barkley Dental Study Club.

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Many Don’t Realize Their Pain Is Abnormal

November 20, 2020 Kelley Brummett DMD

When working with participants at The Pankey Institute, I help them analyze dental cases to assess the risk for joint and muscle problems. I often hear, “The patient is not reporting any pain.” Yet, the dental records indicate the patient is at high risk of experiencing pain.

I have discovered a question to ask my patients that reveals their personal pain tolerance. “When you have a headache or muscle pain, at what level of pain do you take an Advil?” Some patients say at level 1 or 2. Others say not until it is a 12. Patients are all up and down the scale.

This one question leads to the patient’s self-discovery about how they perceive pain and potentially tolerate abnormal pain when they are “diseased.” Further conversation helps the patient understand symptoms they have been dismissing indicate abnormalities that can be “treated” for a healthier, longer-lasting dentition and more comfortable life.

And this brings me back to how we diagnose and plan treatment in general. Sometimes the questions we ask our dental patients aren’t structured to get us the information we are hoping for. If we gather inaccurate impressions from their responses to our questions, we go down the wrong path clinically. Asking more powerful, well-crafted questions allows us to better know the patient and get more complete information to better understand their situation.

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DATE: May 1 2025 @ 8:00 am - May 4 2025 @ 2:30 pm

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Single Occupancy with Ensuite Private Bath (Per Night): $ 345

Transform your experience of practicing dentistry, increase predictability, profitability and fulfillment. The Essentials Series is the Key, and Aesthetic and Functional Treatment Planning is where your journey begins.  Following a system of…

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Kelley Brummett DMD

Dr. Kelley D. Brummett was born and raised in Missouri. She attended the University of Kansas on a full-ride scholarship in springboard diving and received honors for being the Big Eight Diving Champion on the 1 meter springboard in 1988 and in 1992. Dr. Kelley received her BA in communication at the University of Kansas and went on to receive her Bachelor of Science in Nursing. After practicing nursing, Dr Kelley Brummett went on to earn a degree in Dentistry at the Medical College of Georgia. She has continued her education at the Pankey Institute to further her love of learning and her pursuit to provide quality individual care. Dr. Brummett is a Clinical Instructor at Georgia Regents University and is a member of the American Academy of Cosmetic Dentistry. Dr. Brummett and her husband Darin have two children, Sarah and Sam. They have made Newnan their home for the past 9 years. In her free time, she enjoys traveling, reading and playing with her dogs. Dr. Brummett is an active member of the ADA, GDA, AGDA, and an alumni of the Pankey Institute.

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Acceptance

November 6, 2019 Kenneth E. Myers, DDS

Some time ago, I was listening to a person speak about love and replacing the word “love” with “forgiveness.” His argument was that if you truly expressed forgiveness, then you are a loving person. As I thought about it, I decided “acceptance” was a better word for me. I felt that if I could accept a person for who they are, then it would be easier for me to forgive, and thus love. This started me thinking about the present and past relationships in my life and how I could apply acceptance.

After intentional self-work in this area, I have found that life is more understandable and pleasant when I practice the art of acceptance.

Consider Relationships

We all have had concerns about relationships. We all wonder why others act a certain way towards us. We benefit emotionally, physiologically, and strategically by understanding where they are coming from and how their past experiences have molded them. Stephen Covey would use the phrase “seek to understand, before trying to be understood.” In other words, accept the person for where they are, before you feel you should be influencing them to be what you perceive is correct. In a bad situation, understanding the other person would be a big step towards forgiveness.

Consider Situations

Acceptance of situations has emotional, physiological and strategic benefits as well. It comes down to understanding what is happening instead of trying to control everything. I find this so true in my practice life when my patients have some sort of moderate to severe dental issue. Until they accept what is wrong and “take ownership” of the situation, there is very little that I can do to help them. Often, the worst thing you could do is to try to fix a bad situation without the patient having ownership of the problem, because if things go astray, it becomes your fault.

For Both Ourselves and Our Patients

The art of waiting for when the patient is ready to accept treatment—and the art of understanding, accepting, and positively influencing the patient during the waiting—have both become easier for me over time. Sometimes we need to have difficult conversations with patients to help them accept the truth. But oftentimes we simply need to better understand what they are thinking and why. And, the gentle way to get at this is to inquire why they are reluctant to move forward without a tone of judgment—instead, with genuine care.

One of the great discoveries of working with the public and patients so closely is that most of what we apply to them we can also apply to ourselves. Therefore, we can benefit from accepting who we are, our personal situation, and how those around us are trying to help us. These can be important keys to moving forward in our own lives. Remember, we all travel the same journey.

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About Author

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Kenneth E. Myers, DDS

Originally from Michigan, Dr. Myers moved to Maine in 1987 after completing a hospital residency program at Harvard and the Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston, Massachusetts. His undergraduate degree in biology and his dental degree were both earned at The University of Michigan. Upon first arriving in Maine, he worked for a short time as an associate dentist and opened his private practice in 1990. During the mid-90’s he associated himself with the Pankey Institute and became one of the first dentists to achieve the status of Pankey Scholar.

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The Relationship Based Dental Practice from the Patient’s Perspective

September 30, 2019 Kenneth E. Myers, DDS

It’s early in the morning and the first sip of coffee full of that fresh aroma just went down with a sigh, a sagging of the shoulders and a feeling of here we go for another day. My mind is starting to run the list of what is on the day’s agenda…work deadlines and meetings…the kids’ schedules…what is my spouse doing today? Did I pay that electric bill or not? Then it hits. Oh, that’s right! I have a dental appointment today!

The morning life puzzle pieces all start to come together as they always do.

Everyone and everything are in their place. And off I go to the dentist with that fearful thought, “I hope they don’t hurt me today.” Parking in a rush and taking a breath before entering the dental office door, I worry, “Am I just in time?” A gentle face looks up, smiles and greets me by name. With that kind hello, I begin to relax and mentally whisper to myself, “I’m safe here. They know me. They want to take care of me. They’re happy to see me. I’ll be okay.”

The reality is this kind of personalized attention and care is slowly going away.

In medicine and dentistry, consolidation of practices into corporate entities has forced doctors to “run” on a patient-number schedule and production list. Statistics and numbers are slowly pulling their want and desire to give personalized care away from them. And I, the Patient, don’t want to be treated this way.

I’m glad my dentist takes time to know me and my concerns, spends time diagnosing and planning treatment that is individualized and best for me, and doesn’t let insurance companies limit my choices and the quality and quantity of care I receive. What’s important to me is I trust this type of dental care, I think I deserve this type of care—and the comfort I feel during my dental visits is priceless.

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About Author

User Image
Kenneth E. Myers, DDS

Originally from Michigan, Dr. Myers moved to Maine in 1987 after completing a hospital residency program at Harvard and the Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston, Massachusetts. His undergraduate degree in biology and his dental degree were both earned at The University of Michigan. Upon first arriving in Maine, he worked for a short time as an associate dentist and opened his private practice in 1990. During the mid-90’s he associated himself with the Pankey Institute and became one of the first dentists to achieve the status of Pankey Scholar.

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