By Barry F. Polansky, DMD 

These thoughts were first published in May of 2021 on my blog Stoic Dentistry. Parts one and two of this blog series tell the story of how The Pankey Institute provided me with inspiration that shaped my career and provided me with purpose to live a meaningful life. 

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According to the findings of motivational researchers Deci and Ryan (discussed in Part 1 of this blog series), when we are the masters of our own destiny, we are more focused, productive, optimistic, resilient, creative and healthy. 

In retrospect, this is what I found I was experiencing on my Thursday mornings reserved for practicing “the Pankey way.” 

Autonomy as an intrinsic driver works—so starting slow to install fee-for-service just one morning per week is a sound idea. 

The Riddle of Mastery 

And then there is the riddle of mastery. Mastery sits atop L. D. Pankey’s Ladder of Competency. The question is how does one achieve mastery? It could be reduced to “Just do it,” but there is more science. 

In a 1953 paper by Harvard psychologist, David McClelland, a leader in achievement and motivation theory, he wrote an original thesis titled “The  Achievement Motive.” Deci and Ryan acknowledged that this thesis may have described an intrinsic driver even more important than autonomy. They called it competence, but it now is known as mastery. 

The pursuit of mastery has been the subject of numerous scholars and authors from Theresa Amabile and Robert Greene to George Leonard. Most agree that mastery is the desire to get better at what we do. It is the need to continually get better, to improve and to make progress. It is the royal road to growth and flourishing and the opposite of languishing and drudgery…the low rung on Pankey’s Ladder of Competency. 

Working toward worthy goals is pleasurable. Making progress produces the neuro-chemical dopamine. According to Daniel Pink, author of the popular book Drive, “the single biggest motivator by far, is making progress in meaningful work.” 

At my lowest point in dentistry, I felt stuck. Hopeless. My work had lost its meaning. Today we call that burnout. Those Thursday mornings turned on the light…the light of hope. 

We need the freedom to chase mastery. That freedom comes from autonomy. Without the intrinsic driver of autonomy, it is difficult to sustain the drive necessary to achieve mastery…this is based on our biology, not just some story, fairy tale, or business myth. 

Driven by Dopamine and Progress 

After installing the Pankey Thursday mornings where I could practice autonomously, applying the lessons I needed to learn, I slowly put the complex elements of comprehensive relationship dentistry together. I started with the comprehensive examination and built on that by learning all of the components from the mundane mounting of models to the nuances of advanced occlusion. It took time…but driven by dopamine and progress, slowly I was installing my model practice. 

I realized that learning the softer behavioral skills were just as important as the technical, so in time I learned about case presentation. Through the years I learned new skills like digital photography and Power Point. Today’s dentists are mastering digital 3D treatment planning. 

I am retired now and looking back I see how that moment when Dr. Becker suggested the Pankey Morning changed my life. 

Today things are different. There is pressure on young dentists to dive into corporate dentistry or adopt practice models focused solely on extrinsic rewards. Many of these newer models undermine autonomy, which, in my view, is a critical error. The Pankey Institute continues to thrive because it champions the principles of autonomy and mastery that are essential for a fulfilling and sustainable career. By embracing a fee-for-service approach and fostering an environment where personal growth and patient relationships take precedence, dentists can build practices that not only endure but flourish.  

As I reflect on my own journey, I see that the true essence of a rewarding career lies in balancing professional excellence with the autonomy to pursue one’s own vision—a hallmark of L. D. Pankey’s philosophy of practice. 

By Barry F. Polansky, DMD 

These thoughts were first published in May of 2021 on my blog Stoic Dentistry. Parts one and two of this blog series tell the story of how The Pankey Institute provided me with inspiration that shaped my career and provided me with purpose to live a meaningful life. 

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I first attended The Pankey Institute in the late eighties. I was at the lowest point of my career. Admittedly times were a bit easier for a young dentist back then, but in many fundamental ways they were the same. The fundamentals never change; but how best to use them is something you must always stay on top of. Over the years, things have changed but the fundamental wisdom of dental practice has stayed the same. 

For that reason, I believe the best and really the only way to have a fulfilling career in dentistry is through comprehensive, relationship based, fee-for-service practice. 

My First Day at the Institute 

On the first morning at the Institute, I remember feeling overwhelmed. It was like the first time I sat down to write a book…I was focused on the herculean tasks of creating the practice of my dreams…an unbearable project. Every moment of that first week tested my competence and potential to succeed…and then there was the comparisons and contrasts I made with the other students. But I paid attention and took notes. 

In a lecture late in the week, the instructor was discussing how to schedule this new type of practice. He told us to reserve just a morning to practice what we were learning. I returned home and secured every Thursday morning for practicing the Pankey way. That included a lot of new techniques for me and my staff. It was an easy way to introduce the new school of thought to my staff. 

How do you eat an elephant? I used to ask myself…one bite at a time. 

The lecturer that day, Dr. Irwin Becker, who later became my mentor, was righter than he even knew. 

The Self-Determination Theory of Human Motivation 

Just about the same time, during the eighties, two psychologists, Edward Deci and Richard Ryan from the University of Rochester were beginning to formulate their now groundbreaking self-determination theory of human motivation. 

Let’s face it, writing a book or designing a fee for service dental practice takes a lot of energy and motivation. Back then and sadly today, the advice came down to “Just Do It.” Deci and Ryan put some science behind human motivation for me…and then I backed into it…but years later, while studying positive psychology, I was gratified that I took Dr. Irwin Becker’s advice; otherwise, I may not have had an accomplished and fulfilling career. 

Let’s look at the science. 

Deci and Ryan defined motivation as the “energy required for action.” How many times do we attempt to accomplish a worthy goal but run out of steam. We need drive. Many people never even try. Installing a fee-for-service practice is difficult…if we dare to do it. It requires resources like drive and energy. 

Deci and Ryan went on to further describe the elements of the drive and motivation they were describing. Firstly, they noted the difference between extrinsic and intrinsic motivation. The extrinsic drives were the material rewards we are all familiar with, as well as status and recognition. The intrinsic drives included passion, curiosity and purpose. What they found was that intrinsic motivation was more effective in every tested situation, excluding when our basic needs haven’t been met. (See Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.)  

Then something interesting occurred to them. They separated motivation again into controlled motivation, a form of extrinsic motivation and autonomous motivation, a form of intrinsic motivation. If it is work you have to do or are being forced to do, that’s controlled. Autonomous motivation is doing work you choose to do. Deci and Ryan found that, in every case, autonomous motivation destroys controlled motivation.  

The psychologists further explained autonomy by saying it occurs when we are doing what we are doing because of “interest and enjoyment” and because “it aligns with our core values and beliefs.” In other words, it is in alignment with the other intrinsic drives: curiosity, passion and purpose. 

To be continued in Part 2. 

By Andrea Beerman, DDS 

The late Dr. Andrea Beerman (1978-2013) was a beloved member of the Pankey Institute community. She contributed this to my CoDiscovery blog years ago. I think she would be glad her words will inspire our Pankey community forever. – Paul A. Henny, DDS 

Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson 

I love this quote from Emerson and understood it with greater depth as it reconnected me with one of my personal Core Values – originality. 

It reminds me that it is my natural state to follow my own mind – my own unique ideas. Personally, I know I struggle when I try to do things like others. In these instances, I feel like I am not being my authentic self. Sometimes, I have found myself conforming or doing something “the way it’s always been done”, because it seems quicker or easier. 

I don’t have to face the truth or something that may take me to my learning edge if I do things in a rote way. I do not have to make time to enter the “classroom” of silence to know more clearly the path to choose. In these moments, I know I am not realizing the sacredness of my own mind and spirit. With this quote, I am reminded to continue to trust and tap that potential – the beautiful, unique spark of life within me. 

A friend and mentor of mine encouraged me to find a picture of myself when I was a child and put it somewhere I would see it every day. So, now I have a picture of myself at age four on my desk. I keep it in front of me, because sometimes I forget who I am in the midst of my busy days. Of course I am a dentist, but the truth is, deep down – I am still that little girl. That same bright spirit, eager to live fully, and embrace life. All I wanted then was to be loved, accepted and understood. What do I want now? If I answer honestly, I’m not sure the answers are different. 

When I see her picture it makes it really easy for me to forgive myself for all the times I came up short and for the mistakes I’ve made along the way. I see her innocence when I look at this picture, and remember I am truly doing the best I can with what I know. 

So, I have this picture on my desk – to help me remember who I am and what I really want from life. What I’ve learned – it also reminds me of the truth about others – you, my patients, family and friends. 

Beneath the layers of life, lie our bright spirits. I am at my best – in patient interactions and with my friends and family- when I can see others for who they truly are. I think e.e. cummings said it best, “It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” 

I wish you my very best in your journey. ~Andrea 

By Paul A. Henny, DDS 

Coping with Stress and Trauma 

If you hang around me long enough, the conversation will eventually turn toward the amazing work of Gabor Maté, MD. Maté is a Canadian of Hungarian decent. He is also Jewish, and barely survived the Nazi invasion of Budapest. He has spent his life studying the effects of trauma on the body, both physical and emotional, and he has authored several books. WHEN A BODY SAYS NO is a favorite of mine. 

All of Maté’s work has a common theme: how we individually cope with stress, and when it’s severe enough, trauma. He also advances the bold theory that most of our diseases and dysfunctions today are self-inflicted, even cancer and autoimmune disorders. They are self-Inflicted in the sense that our body does it to itself in its dysfunctional attempt to cope with chronic stress.  

Maté maintains that chronic stress, particularly in a young child, causes the child to dial back their sensitivity to the environment, to stop paying close attention, because it is or might be too painful. 

If you can follow this line of thought, then you will be led to better understand Mate’s theory regarding the common mental dysfunction ADHD, and even some of the milder forms of autism. Maté states that a stressed mother releases stress hormones into the placenta, and when chronically present, these can negatively influence brain development resulting in autism in some cases.* 

Note: Stress can also originate externally from toxins in the environment and food, and from working and living in toxic cultures. 

Today’s Toxic Culture and It’s Impact on Dental Practice 

Those of you who have heard me speak, have heard me say this before. We live in a very toxic culture today. We all try to cope with too much information, too many decisions, and too many stressful issues lingering in the back of our mind left unresolved. And the outcome is similar: we tend to dial back on our sensitivity to the environment. 

Consequently: 

• We start to think of others as being problems to be resolved instead of people. 

• We stop sensing other people’s feelings. 

• We stop paying attention to our gut and intuition. 

• We start blaming instead of understanding. 

• We start manipulating instead of listening. 

Combine all of these together, it isn’t hard to imagine the daily functioning of the average dental practice: 

• Detached 

• Unauthentic 

• Reductionistic 

• Money-centric 

• High stress 

Hence, lots of personal dissatisfaction occurs among staff and patients. 

Getting Back to Whole-Self, Whole-Person Dentistry 

Whole-person dentistry takes into consideration the whole person physically and emotionally. It requires us to be sensitive to our patients feelings, expectations, and experiences. It also requires us to be sensitive to our own feelings, because without them, we can’t sense others and the world around us accurately.  

Without sensitivity, we work through the day like an autistic child in a bubble, and then wonder why our patients don’t listen to us or take our advice. Thus, the road to true person-centered care must first run through us. And that needs to be a life-long pursuit —the process of getting back in touch with who we truly are inside and how we feel. THAT is what L. D. Pankey was trying to tell us when he said, “Know Yourself.” 

By John C. Cranham, DDS  

Sometimes you can see clearly where you want to go with your dental practice. I can vividly remember driving my car to St. Petersburg for my first class taught by Pete Dawson. It was 1989. When the class was over, I drove my little car all the way back to my 800-square-foot office in Portsmouth, Virginia, and arrived at four o’clock in the morning. I had just bought the office from a doctor who did mostly silver fillings—maybe only four crowns in the entire year. I remember I could visualize what I wanted to do with “my” practice but deciding the first steps was overwhelming.  

A dental office can be the loneliest place in the world. I had to figure out the attainable steppingstones. We didn’t have the internet back then. Finding mentors and connecting with supportive, sharing colleagues was more difficult. In dentistry today, it’s easier to find those steppingstones. One of the most rewarding things I do today is helping dentists develop. 

I caution dentists to not assume they will achieve their big goals fast. There is a temptation to give up when progress is slow. You’ve got to stay on the path to get to where you want to go. Think about your goals and steppingstones every day but be kind to yourself if it takes more time than you visualized.  

Remember that everyone is different. All your buddies are going to be in different cities, different socioeconomic areas, and different practices. They’re going to have different opportunities. Social media can be your enemy when it comes to self-confidence and determination. There will be certain people that develop faster.  

I can remember being very frustrated the first year or two in my little town of Portsmouth. There were dentists going through the same classes I was and were already doing the kinds of cases that I wanted to do but wasn’t doing yet. During the first two years in practice, I sometimes wondered if I would ever do the kind of dentistry I wanted. But I kept in conversation with my patients, eventually they began accepting treatments, and the floodgates finally opened.  

One of the greatest things about this profession is we can always strive to be great. I don’t think I’m there yet. It’s the striving part—the working at it and seeing things improve that makes it so fun and rewarding. I love it.  

People ask me, why are you setting BHAGs at this stage in your life? You’ve already accomplished so much. Why are you totally reinventing your practice systems? Why are you going fully digital after practicing on analog articulators for 35 years? 

What I’ve been able to do in dentistry is constantly reinvent myself, and I feel like I am growing in what I can do. So, I say it’s because reinvention is awesome. It’s fun. And my staff knows that if I get something working well, I’m going to find a way to make it even better tomorrow. 

By Paul A. Henny, DDS 

How are you doing in your quest for a “positive” life? 

Martin Seligman PhD spent most of his career at the University of Pennsylvania advancing the concept known today as “Positive Psychology.” He states that Positive Psychology is “the scientific study of what makes life most worth living.” Along the way, Martin identified five core elements highly associated with psychological well-being and happiness. He believes understanding these five elements helps us to create more fulfillment, happiness, and meaning in our life. 

In Part 2 of this two-part series, we’ll pick up where I left off with the third core element in Seligman’s model. 

R – Relationships 

Relationships and social connections are essential for the creation of meaningful lives. Human beings have been social animals since the earliest of times, hence we are hard-wired to bond and depend on each other. That worked particularly well when we functioned in small social units or “tribes.” The tribal unit allowed us to easily ascertain who was friend or foe. It also allowed us to know who to pay attention to, ignore, and with whom we should invest our time and energy. 

In our modern-day world, the historical notion of tribes has largely been broken and replaced by sub-sects of people who are clustered together around common interests, agendas, and values, brought together in new and different ways. Social media now connects people from around the world in ways we never could have imagined 20 years ago. So, this has created a situation where we don’t know our neighbors, but we do know intimate details about our friends in Australia, Tampa, and Kansas City. 

Since we are less tribal in the historical sense, we have lost our ability to easily trust those who are around us, as we can no longer assume they share our values and priorities. That is WHY the relationship-based practice model is so valuable today.  

The relationship-based practice model is a vehicle of connection that can be used to co-discover our similarities as well as areas of disagreement. Alignment of values, goals, perspectives, and efforts are key to successfully advancing health. Strong interpersonal relationships are the key to the door which opens up all of those possibilities. 

M – Meaning 

Some people work to live, while others live to work, with the latter meaning that a person has been successful at merging their life purpose with their daily work. And when work becomes meaningful on a deeply personal level, it evolves into becoming much more than just a “job.” 

With the ever-expanding discovery of connections between oral health and whole health, dentistry now stands at the forefront of a huge new opportunity – the opportunity to help others to grow, develop, and maintain whole health over their entire life  

A – Accomplishments 

Living a values-driven, purposeful life, integrated with how we practice, aligns ourselves with the achievement of deeply meaningful accomplishments on a daily basis. Helping others in deeply meaningful ways, and then being rewarded with appreciation and appropriate compensation, establishes a self-sustaining cycle, and a successful model for living.  

That’s why you will commonly see relationship-based dentists practicing into their 70’s. Their sense of purpose as they continue to accomplish meaningful work is what motivates them to return to the office and continue striving to help patients, coach younger dentists, and create an-ever-happier positive environment. 

An Easy Acronym to Remember: PERMA 

A great to start your day might be to remember what each letter of PERMA stands for: 

• Positive Emotion 

• Engagement 

• Relationships 

• Meaning 

• Accomplishments 

How will these five elements of Seligman’s model fit into your quest for a sense of wellness and happiness today? How will these fit into your quest to serve and help others? 

By Paul A. Henny, DDS 

Martin Seligman PhD spent most of his career at the University of Pennsylvania advancing the concept known today as “Positive Psychology.” He states that Positive Psychology is “the scientific study of what makes life most worth living.” Along the way, Martin identified five core elements highly associated with psychological well-being and happiness. He believes understanding these five elements helps us to create more fulfillment, happiness, and meaning in our life. 

One of our Pankey colleagues, Barry F. Polansky, DDS, spent a lot of time and energy studying Seligman’s work. In his last decade in practice, Polansky turned his attention to writing books to help new dentists find wellness and happiness in dentistry. Polansky’s 2017 book The Complete Dentist: Positive Leadership and Communication Skills for Success is an excellent guide to starting and running an effective and meaningful dental practice. 

In this two-part series, we’ll take a look at Seligman’s positive psychology model in relation to how we feel about our work in dentistry. 

Seligman’s Five Core Elements: 

P – Positive Emotion 

This represents a “glass-is-half-full” perspective toward life, commonly called an “abundance” perspective. This positive world view is critical because it has a heavy influence on how the brain functions. Our brain is a memory-driven cybernetic solution-seeking organ, with a primary purpose of creating and supporting a successful life. When our mind is in a positive orientation towards our environment, we are typically in a very observant and creative mode of living. In this mode, we constantly scan our environment for relevant bits of information and experiences that are potentially useful in the advancement of our desires.  

When our desires are positive and life-affirming, we are co-creating our experience: We see and experience to a large degree what we expect to see and feel. That is why having a clarified positive vision and purpose for our life and practice is essential for well-being. 

E – Engagement 

L.D. Pankey famously said, “Know Yourself.” What interests us most? What worries us most? In what circumstances are we most comfortable? Under what conditions are we most productive? What are our personal strengths? What are our habits? What are our triggers? What do we aspire to do? What about ourselves would we like to change? 

We all direct most our attention toward the things that interest us or we fear. And it is what we pay the most attention to, whether at work or elsewhere, that we develop the most while engagement with things of lesser importance wither away. It’s healthy to go into ever deeper relationship with the things we value. Clarifying what we believe we are good at and what we will enjoy is a key first step to successful practice development. 

Defining our values is essential so we know when to keep “first things first,” as Stephen Covey likes to say. 

Mac McDonald is a Visiting Faculty member at Pankey, his 2017 book Unchanging Points of Light: Finding Your Way in the Dark is an example of the positive power of values clarification. 

My discussion of Seligman’s five core elements will be continued in Part 2. 

By Paul A. Henny, DDS 

In Part 1, we looked at personal boundaries in dental practice. I mentioned scarcity bias and how it is prevalent in undifferentiated dental practices but not so much in dental practices where providers and patients mutually share the values and agenda of the practice. Because scarcity bias is so human, so ingrained in us, I want to discuss two things in Part 2: healthy relationships and also how to address scarcity bias as it occurs in our differentiated dental practices. 

Insight Into Our Boundaries Leads to Healthy Relationships 

Healthy interdependent relationships are only possible through first understanding our personal boundaries (Who am I? What am I responsible for? What am I not responsible for?). That’s critical because psychologically speaking, boundaries are like fence lines with consciously regulated gates.  

The aphorism “Good fences make for good neighbors” prevails.  The same logic applies to the practice of dentistry and the nature of the relationships that we create—consciously or not, within it.  

And Now, We Circle Back to Differentiation  

Healthy interpersonal boundaries lead us toward more interpersonal authenticity, which leads us toward higher-quality communication of our values and purpose. Higher quality communication leads to a more sophisticated level of collaboration and healthy results, including healthy interdependent relationships, self-reflection, self-responsibility, improved oral and total body health, improved mental health, and a constantly growing reputation for your values. That’s differentiation. That’s personal authenticity. That’s success. 

Addressing Scarcity Bias 

Once we understand ourselves well and we communicate consistently with personal authenticity, we still have the challenge of “knee-jerk” scarcity bias in our patients. This is where patience comes in and empathy—understanding and recognizing their feelings. 

People are biased toward the here and now. The mind is naturally focused on meeting immediate needs at the expense of future ones. We procrastinate important things such as dental treatment unless we have an urgent need for it. We fail to make investments, even when the future benefits are significant or the costs of not doing so are substantial. 

When the dentist and patient participate equally in a co-discovery examination process and co-discovery consultations to discuss health history and current findings, and the patient is empowered and becomes comfortable mentioning everything on their mind, we have already begun the powerful process of leading each other through understanding what is happening in the body and what is happening in the mind (feelings and thoughts). We can start to talk about what the patient would like to achieve long term—the patient’s beyond-the-moment oral health goals. We can start to talk about what is possible to achieve together and introduce the notion that we can take steps at the speed that is mutually comfortable for us. 

Inspiration to do “the work” is often planted with just a few words that create a future desirable image in the patient’s mind. If we have the patience to let the inspiration grow, without overwhelming the patient, scarcity bias can dissipate. Often patients come back to the conversation the next time they visit us and say, “I was thinking about what we talked about, and I think I am ready to…”  

Negotiating health goals between two adults starts as an invitation to agree upon common goals. We can start early in the doctor-patient and hygienist-patient relationships by instilling the thought that preventive health care is a partnership. They can’t do it alone and you can’t do it for them. Everyone must play their part responsibly. 

By Mary Osborne, RDH 

There was a time when I thought “partnering in health” was just about getting people to take better care of their teeth. 

Many years ago, I had a patient who was excellent with her home care, but she showed up periodically with an acute periodontal infection. We asked about stress and her overall health, but she was not aware of any issues. We would treat the infection and she would be fine for a sometime. We knew she worked for National Public Radio, and one day we made the connection that her infections showed up concurrent with NPR’s fund-raising drives. That shared realization allowed us to help her see that her stress was affecting her dental health and her overall health. She was open to conversations about lifestyle changes that would help her be healthier. My relationship with her influenced my thinking and my ability to connect with my patients from a perspective of Whole-health Dentistry. I came to understand that I had been missing opportunities to influence the way people think and feel about health. I knew that I wanted my patients to see me as “a partner in health.” 

Unfortunately, most of our patients come to us with the perspective that we are fixers of teeth, not partners in health. 

In the culture today people are bombarded with information about what is healthy. From friends and families, social and news media, and a wide variety of health care practitioners, everybody expresses opinions on how they are supposed to take care of themselves. Why, then, are we surprised when our patients don’t know whom to trust? Why are we surprised when they shrug their shoulders or appear confused? It’s not always a case of conflicting facts but a case of various perspectives that people don’t know how to navigate. 

Think about where you place your trust. How do you decide whom to trust about decisions—whether it’s about your health, or about your finances, or about how you raise your children? When I ask myself that question, two criteria surface. They need to know their subject and to know me. I want that person to know what it is they’re talking about. I want them to be well informed. I also want someone who knows me, who understands my values. I want that person to have a sense of who I am and what is important to me. 

As we get to know our patients over the years, most of them come to see us as trusted advisors when it comes to their dental health—but fewer see us as trusted advisors when it comes to their general health. If we jump too quickly to making recommendations about their overall health, we are more likely to meet resistance. If we want to cross the bridge into influencing our patients’ overall health and wellbeing, I believe we need an invitation to cross that bridge.   

The Missing Piece in our quest to influence the overall health of our patients is the failure to invite patients to share their perspectives on health. Beginning a conversation with a new patient with the question, “What can you tell me about your health in general?” is an invitation for them to talk about their experience of their health, not just details. Instead of “reviewing” health histories, what if we “explore” health histories? As we connect and get to know each other we can learn to listen beyond information to hear attitudes, beliefs, fears, biases, concerns, barriers, etc. As you understand their perspectives on health issues that come up in conversation, it’s easy to ask if they would like your perspective on that issue. These conversations often lead to more questions and answers that invite more and more invitations from our patients to be their partner in health. 

Kelley Brummett, DMD 

Recently, I completed growth conferences with everyone on my team. The beauty of a growth conference is that it’s all about growth. It’s all about effort. It’s all about meeting each other and becoming more aligned with the mission of the practice. If I have something I want to share with a team member that’s a concern or something new I would like them to achieve such as mastery of a new skill, I think about how I’m going to communicate it. And as I do growth conferences with the individuals on my dental team, I am cognizant that they are likely to want to receive feedback differently as individuals.  

I’ve discovered that if I ask my employee upfront how they like to receive feedback, they pause to think before responding. I wait patiently for their response because I know the response will save both of us time and energy. For example, there are some team members who want the short and skinny of it—“Give it to me straight now.” They don’t want you to hold back. There are some team members who need to be gently warmed up before they can hear the message and require thorough explanations of why. 

I’ve discovered it helps to frequently ask the “how do you like feedback” question of my team to get their buy-in of my feedback. The beauty of “feedback” is that even criticism can be framed in a positive way as the next identified step in working towards a goal.  

Those of us in dentistry know that sometimes we move fast, but there are times that we need to sit back, think through what somebody gave us information about, and then come back and have a conversation. Mary Osborne has guided us to have conversations with patients that allow us to slow down and learn more about them so they can think, hear themselves speak, and learn about themselves. I’ve decided the feedback question is also a good question to ask patients. “How do you like to receive information? Would you like to know all the details or for me to summarize?” 

I’ve learned from Mary and experiences with patients that “staying in questions” helps them grow. Staying in questions also helps team members grow. Staying in questions helps us providers grow. So, feedback—how do you give it? How do you like to receive it? How do you handle it? I encourage you to think about this.